I wonder if people who haven't watched the show can follow this recap. I'm glad I just rewatched season 2.

Well, if that isn't Helena dreaming. But why are they wasting our time with that? Give me some things that are actually happening!
God, poor Helena is in a small box! With a scorpion who can talk. So that's what it's like inside her brain.

Of course Delphine would be back. Getting used to her new look will take me a bit. Have her eyes always been that dark?
Haha, Delphine needs Sarah to play Rachel. But how would they keep the real Rachel away? I want to see her, I want to know if she's wearing a glass eye or an eyepatch. I kinda want an eye-patched clone.

...Oh, brain damage will keep her away. Well, I hope that's not the last we've seen of her.

Aw, no I don't like it when Sarah and Mrs. S. don't get along. Don't make me sad!

OMG, no, Delphine can't break up with Cosima! Why even? That was a stupid reason! Everything is going down the drain, argh.

I like that Sarah's Rachel disguise isn't perfect.
Whoa, I didn't expect them to have a fake Sarah there. Couldn't Sarah have been herself and Alison have played Rachel instead? Fake Sarah's hair looks terrible, like Barbie hair or something.
Oh god, Sarah will have to pretend some more to be Rachel. No, that sort of stuff makes me cringe! And will Helsinki remain a Noodle Incident or will we get to find out about it?

Jesus Christ, Delphine goes all Jack Bauer on Rachel!

Okay, now that I know what Helsinki is about, I don't want to know anymore. Ferdinand is such a sicko! Rachel too, but because of the brain damage she seems so benign suddenly.
Haha, Sarah's holding a nail file and I'm thinking of stabbed eyes and then Ferdinand's taking his glasses off! It would be funny in a way if he got the same injury as Rachel.
Okay then, choking it is.
Oh wow, I didn't expect Ferdinand to get out of this alive!

I think I'm starting to like Helena's scorpion.